Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize