We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
