My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
A+ Viking dick
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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