i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
