I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Randomize
