and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
