thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
