I want to have your abortion
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
that may or may not have been my penis.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
