it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
