Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
