Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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