I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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