if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
