I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My vagina is very pro this idea
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
