Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize