Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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