I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
