I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
