Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
