So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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