I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
