I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
