I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
