I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
