sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
