Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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