So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
