so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
