it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
