Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
