did you get engaged???
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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