So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
