my mouth tastes like poor choices
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
