How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
