i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i think i have herpe
just one?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My ATM looks so different sober.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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