I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
