Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
