brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
it was like eating out sand paper
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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