Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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