So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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