Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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