Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
