We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
