he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
