I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
