Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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