everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
