and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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