I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
