More tranny stories later!
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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