So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
