think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
