you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
