apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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