it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize