They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
