Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
