You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
