he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
